Drunks in a Taxi

Three drunks hailed a taxi, the taxi driver seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here.
The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized that the taxi didn't move an inch. "So what was that for", he asked? "Next time control your speed, you almost killed us!!!"

Mad Tv - Dr Phil with The Spears Family

Annoying Orange: Pet Peeve

Marker Bandit

                  

Jelly Bean Fail

Build-A-Beiber

Tattoos...Weird...but Kind of Cool

                                                                 

  

Airline Safety Video

Random Warnings

Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Unknown Pepper Spray

This broom does not actually fly.

Harry Potter Toy Broom

Caution: Will be hot after heating.

Unknown Pudding

For indoor use only.

Christmas Star – Outdoor Icicle Lights

Caution: Non-Flamable

Unknown Fire Extinguisher

Parking for drive-thru service only

McDonald’s in Johnson City, NY

Take one – two teaspoons full by mouth. 

 Prescription Prometh Cough Medicine

Warning: May contain traces of nuts

Hershey’s Almond Bar

Do not eat or inhale, if so induce vomiting.

Unknown Block of Lead (One Ton)

Keep dry, out of sunlight and chemicals.

Mama Instant Noodles

Do not eat or inhale, if so induce vomiting.

Unknown Block of Lead (One Ton)

The sign reads, “Please Pre-Pay in advance.”

A gas pump

                            

Rugby Missed Tries

Bok Fan V. England Fan

1. Bok fans aren't surprised and grateful when their team wins matches, they're surprised when their team loses.

2. Green and gold jerseys look cool on all kinds of South Africans, but white jerseys make England supporters look like the love children of unhealthy Zombies and dead fish.

3. We actually have 15 players on our team, rather than just Jonny Wilkinson and 14 old guys…

4. The South African sports media might be a self-serving, sycophantic bunch of freeloaders, but at least they aren't staked out outside the team hotel hoping to get a picture of Monty's wife tanning topless.

5. Our coach has got a chin (okay, more than one when he speaks Afrikaans).

6. The Boks' traditional rivals actually come from different countries like New Zealand and Australia, as opposed to being English provinces, like Ireland, Wales and Scotland.

7. Fans of other teams hate the Boks because they're hard guys - they hate the English because they're hypocrites who won't admit they're hard guys.

8. Instead of names like Jason, Jonny, Martin and Phil, our players have cool names like Os, Bakkies, Wickus and, uh, Percy. (Dammit, trust Percy to ruin everything again).

9. Bok fans don't mind being hated, because of all the practice we had during the apartheid years. English fans, on the other hand, can't seem to understand why the rest of the world loathes them.

10. Win or lose on Saturday, Bok fans are flying back to a summer of hot babes and beaches. English fans are doomed to a winter of sleet and clogged M1.

11. Schalk Burger pushes the earth down when he does press ups. Martin Corry sticks his bum in the air.

Doritos Pug

Chuck Norris...The Badass

The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.

Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.

Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Chuck Norris can walk trough a drive thru.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is...

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Easy 3 Minute Meal Gone Wrong

Relaxing Saturday